How can you tell if a lawyer is lying?
Other lawyers look interested.
How can you tell if a lawyer is
More jokes on Lawyer jokes
Why are there no Irish lawyers?
They can’t pass the bar.
They can’t pass the bar.
What’s the difference between a cat and a lawyer? One is an arrogant creature who will ignore you and treat you with contempt unless it can get something out of you. The other is a household pet.
Lawyer, speaking to a dog on trial for murder: "Who’s a good boy? "
Dog: "I am."
Lawyer: "Your honor, I rest my case."
Dog: "I am."
Lawyer: "Your honor, I rest my case."
A man asks his Solicitor: "If I give you £400, will you answer two questions for me?"
The solicitor replies: "Absolutely! What’s the second question?"
The solicitor replies: "Absolutely! What’s the second question?"
How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they’d rather keep their clients in the dark.
None, they’d rather keep their clients in the dark.
The judge charged the attorney who killed her yoga instructor with pre-meditated murder.
A man walked into the local Chamber of Commerce of a small town, obviously desperate. Seeing a man at the counter, the stranger asks, "Is there a criminal attorney in town?” To which the man behind the counter immediately quipped, "Yeah, but we can’t prove it yet!”
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
The lawyer charges more.
The lawyer charges more.
When an attorney gets married, they don’t say, "I do.” They say, "I accept the terms and conditions."
Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.
Professional courtesy.