When an attorney gets married, they
When an attorney gets married, they don’t say, "I do.” They say, "I accept the terms and conditions."
More jokes on Lawyer jokes
Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.
Professional courtesy.
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, how many orchards does it take to keep a lawyer away?
Do you know how copper wire was invented?
Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
What do honest lawyers and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them, but you never see them.
You always hear about them, but you never see them.
Where do vampires learn to suck blood?
Law school.
Law school.
What do you get when you cross a librarian with a lawyer?
All the information you need, but you can’t understand a word of it.
All the information you need, but you can’t understand a word of it.
Me, as a lawyer: "BUT, your honor, I Googled it twice."
Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer, and an old drunk were walking along when they simultaneously spotted a hundred-dollar bill laying in the street. Who gets it? The old drunk, of course — the other three are mythological creatures.
How do you get a group of personal injury lawyers to smile for a picture?
Just say, "Fees!”
Just say, "Fees!”
What do you call a lawyer who doesn’t chase ambulances?
Retired.
Retired.
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