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For lunch, the lawyer worked on Cole's

For lunch, the lawyer worked on Cole's law.

More jokes on Lawyer jokes

My wife accused me of being a terrible lawyer.

I couldn’t defend myself.
Lawyer: "Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly: Did you steal the car?"

Client: "After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning. I’m beginning to think I didn’t."
The trouble with the legal profession is that 98% of its members give the rest a bad name.
How can you tell if a lawyer is lying?

Other lawyers look interested.
Why are there no Irish lawyers?

They can’t pass the bar.
What’s the difference between a cat and a lawyer? One is an arrogant creature who will ignore you and treat you with contempt unless it can get something out of you. The other is a household pet.
Lawyer, speaking to a dog on trial for murder: "Who’s a good boy? "

Dog: "I am."

Lawyer: "Your honor, I rest my case."
A man asks his Solicitor: "If I give you £400, will you answer two questions for me?"

The solicitor replies: "Absolutely! What’s the second question?"
How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they’d rather keep their clients in the dark.
The judge charged the attorney who killed her yoga instructor with pre-meditated murder.