I would like to officially apologize to
I would like to officially apologize to my toddler for opening her granola bar from the top instead of the bottom. I don’t know what I was thinking.
More jokes on Mom jokes
Mom’s casseroles come in two sizes: not enough and enough to feed an army with leftovers.
Have you heard the urban legend about what happens when you scream "Mom” three times in the shower? A nice lady appears with the towel you forgot.
I love all my children equally. Except for the one who sleeps. I love that one more.
Mom’s recipe for iced coffee: Have kids. Make coffee. Forget you made coffee. Put it in the microwave. Forget you put it in the microwave. Drink it cold.
I love my kids. Not enough to flip the chicken nuggets halfway through cooking, but I love them.
Mom sleep: the state of rest where your eyes are closed but you can still hear everything your kids are doing.
Science teacher: "When is the boiling point reached?” Student: "When my mother sees my report card!”
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