Q: Why did Hitler kill himself?
A: He saw his gas bill.
Q: Why did Hitler kill himself? A: He
More jokes on Black Humor
These two guys are riding in a convertible down a road in the desert, the road runs alongside a railroad as they are driving, as they are driving a train goes past, on the train a guy is on the train, clutching his stomach and grunting, his buddy leans over, and asks him,
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
The guy replies, "I gotta shit real bad, and I can't reach the bathroom in time!"
His buddy tells him "Hang your ass out the window, and let it fly."
The guy hangs his ass out the window and the shi t flies back and hits the convertible.
The guys in the convertible say "Damn, that guy on the train spit tobacco on us!"
The guy asks his friend "Hey, pull over when the train stops and we'll find this guy and kick his ass".
After he finishes talking the guy driving the car slows down.
His friend says "Why are you slowing down, don't you wanna beat this guy up."
His friend says "No!"
The other guy says "Why".
His friend says, "Number one, that is some of the stinkiest tobacco I've ever smelled, and number two, did you see the jaws on that son of a bitch!"
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
The guy replies, "I gotta shit real bad, and I can't reach the bathroom in time!"
His buddy tells him "Hang your ass out the window, and let it fly."
The guy hangs his ass out the window and the shi t flies back and hits the convertible.
The guys in the convertible say "Damn, that guy on the train spit tobacco on us!"
The guy asks his friend "Hey, pull over when the train stops and we'll find this guy and kick his ass".
After he finishes talking the guy driving the car slows down.
His friend says "Why are you slowing down, don't you wanna beat this guy up."
His friend says "No!"
The other guy says "Why".
His friend says, "Number one, that is some of the stinkiest tobacco I've ever smelled, and number two, did you see the jaws on that son of a bitch!"
Q: What's faster than the speed of light?
A: A jew passing Germany.
A: A jew passing Germany.
Good News: A busload of lawyers ran off a cliff.
The bus was destroyed and there were no survivors.
Bad News: There were three empty seats.
The bus was destroyed and there were no survivors.
Bad News: There were three empty seats.
Do you remember how everyone was trying to kill Osama Bin Laden?
Well, since all of our presidents seem to get shot, why we just didn't make Bin Laden president.
Well, since all of our presidents seem to get shot, why we just didn't make Bin Laden president.
Q: What do pregnant teenagers and their unborn babies have in common?
A: Both their moms are going to kill them!
A: Both their moms are going to kill them!
Q: Did you hear the joke about an Earthquake and Japanese nuclear reactor?
A: Not cool.
A: Not cool.
So it's the weekend, and I'm on my back patio when I get this idea to call up my coroner friend Bob.
"Bob's not here," his wife says, "he's at work."
"Sheesh!" I think. "Poor guy doing autopsies on a Sunday."
So I call him on his cell.
"What gives, bro,?" I ask.
"Homicide," he says. "The higher-ups need a report ASAP. I'll be starting in just a few minutes."
I Josh Bob a little. "I'll be thinking of you, buddy. Right now, I'm basting barbecue sauce on a rack of baby-backs and I'm getting ready to open a frosty beer."
"Not much different here," he says. "I'm about ready to crack open a cold one myself."
"Bob's not here," his wife says, "he's at work."
"Sheesh!" I think. "Poor guy doing autopsies on a Sunday."
So I call him on his cell.
"What gives, bro,?" I ask.
"Homicide," he says. "The higher-ups need a report ASAP. I'll be starting in just a few minutes."
I Josh Bob a little. "I'll be thinking of you, buddy. Right now, I'm basting barbecue sauce on a rack of baby-backs and I'm getting ready to open a frosty beer."
"Not much different here," he says. "I'm about ready to crack open a cold one myself."
Q: What is the difference between a Jew and a boy scout?
A: the boy Scott gets to go home after camp.
A: the boy Scott gets to go home after camp.
Q: Why do German shower heads have 11 holes?
A: Jews have 10 fingers.
A: Jews have 10 fingers.
Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor?
They were given a right roasting.
They were given a right roasting.
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