Marilyn Monroe, on being served matzo-ball soup:
"Isn't there any other part of the matzo you can eat?"
Marilyn Monroe, on being served
More jokes on Jewish jokes
Two kids are in a hospital each lying on a stretcher next to each other outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "what are you in here for?"
The second kid says, "I'm getting my tonsils out. I'm a little nervous."
The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep and when you wake up, they give you lots of jello and ice cream. It's a breeze."
The second kid then asked, "What are you in here for?"
The first kids says, "a circumcision."
The second kid replies, "Whoa, good luck buddy. I had that done when I was born and I couldn't walk for a year."
The second kid says, "I'm getting my tonsils out. I'm a little nervous."
The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep and when you wake up, they give you lots of jello and ice cream. It's a breeze."
The second kid then asked, "What are you in here for?"
The first kids says, "a circumcision."
The second kid replies, "Whoa, good luck buddy. I had that done when I was born and I couldn't walk for a year."
My wife and I did the Jewish divorce custom where we took a broken glass and we put it back together. --Myq Kaplan
A Jewish man took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park. He sat down on a bench and began eating.
A little while later a blind man came by and sat down next to him.
Feeling neighborly, the Jewish man passed a sheet of matzo to the blind man.
The blind man ran his fingers over the matzo for a few minutes, looked puzzled, and finally exclaimed, "Who wrote this crap?"
A little while later a blind man came by and sat down next to him.
Feeling neighborly, the Jewish man passed a sheet of matzo to the blind man.
The blind man ran his fingers over the matzo for a few minutes, looked puzzled, and finally exclaimed, "Who wrote this crap?"