Lawyer: "May I approach the bench?"
Judge: "You may."
Lawyer: *walks up and whispers* "The other guy is being, like, super mean right now."
Lawyer: "May I approach the
More jokes on Lawyer jokes
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? Fifty-four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.
Did you hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers?
It’s called Sosumi.
It’s called Sosumi.
What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
One is a bottom-dwelling, garbage-eating scavenger. The other is a fish.
One is a bottom-dwelling, garbage-eating scavenger. The other is a fish.
What do you call 400 lawyers at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean?
A great place to start.
A great place to start.
What’s the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer riding a motorcycle?
The vacuum cleaner has a dirt bag on the inside.
The vacuum cleaner has a dirt bag on the inside.
Don't judge a law book by its cover up.
A lawyer went to his local restaurant to wind down after a complicated trial. "What would you like with your orange juice?", the waiter asked. "Just ice", he replied.
My friend had to call his lawyer because his neighbor's hair was littered all over his property. Turns out, his neighbor got booked for trespassing.
A lawyer was apprehended outside of his house for not staying in bed, as mandated by the high court. "Stop, you're under a-rest", exclaimed the policeman.
When chickens graduate from law school they become legal tenders.
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