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I’m not buying this sweater. It’s made

I’m not buying this sweater.

It’s made of ex-boyfriend material.

More jokes on Boyfriend jokes

My boyfriend just broke up with me over video games…

What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
Boyfriend: "Oh my god, it smells like upsexy in here!”

Girlfriend: "What’s up sexy?” Boyfriend: "Oh nothing much, you?”
Boyfriend: "Do you want a kiss?”

Girlfriend: "No.” Boyfriend: "Do you remember what I just said?” Girlfriend: "Do you want a kiss?” Boyfriend: "OK, if you insist.”
What did the butcher say to his girlfriend on their first date?

"Nice to meat you.”
How does a boyfriend show he’s planning for the future?

He buys an extra case of beer.
Girl: "Would you like to be the sun in my life?”

Ex-Boyfriend: "Oh, wow. Um, yeah!” Girl: "Good. Then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.”
Girlfriend: "I dreamed I saw you in a jewelry store and you were buying me a diamond ring.”

Boyfriend: "I had the same dream, and I saw your dad paying the bill.”
One day, a boyfriend came home and was greeted by his girlfriend.

Dressed in sexy lingerie, she purred, "Tie me up and do whatever you want.” So he tied her up and went golfing.
Girlfriend: "Our new neighbor always kisses his girlfriend when he leaves for work. Why don’t you do that?”

Boyfriend: "How can I? I don’t even know her.”
Girlfriend: "Am I pretty or ugly?”
Boyfriend: "You’re both!”
Girlfriend: "What do you mean by that?”
Boyfriend: "You’re pretty ugly!”